As a training psychologist, my colleagues and I can't help but to ruminate over our clients terminating in the middle of the process. We cringe and bite nails while telling our supervisors with our heads hanging down that yes, our clients, decided to end therapy before time. We are doomed. We lie in bed with our monkey minds jumping from one thought to another, trying to make sense. But let me tell you, sleep is good for health.
Someone I know, humorously said, people care more about the cuticle of their finger nail than about you. They are only interested in you as long as you offer them something. More humorously, I agree 110% with her. Our clients choosing to complete or terminate their sessions has nothing to do with us. Translate it to a more reality setting, people choosing to stay or leave has nothing to do with us or vice versa. Anything people have to do with us is nothing to do with us.
Some animals of different species are dependent of one another for survival. When one dies, the other becomes helpless and eventually dies, so their survival is based on each other. I understand you are not a fish accessing the internet, but here's the catch. Psychologist took this process of symbiosis and used it to describe human relations. Anything connected to us in any way becomes us. So everything is an extension of who we are, irrespective of their unique characteristics. The famous Sigmund Freud called it transference. So when people walk out of our lives, it literally send death signals to our brain and we preserve to hold on. Nobody wants to die, even if it is a symbolic death.
Pick any relation you want, parent-child, husband-wife and even friends, the more similar they are to each other, the happier they are. And if not, then starts the personality improvement list. The truth is we only like seeing extensions of who we are and what we believe in this world, everything else can be recycled into us.
I have no disputes with Charles Darwin on this so I shall make spiritual sense of it all.
One wonders exactly how people like Prophet Muhammad, Buddha or Jesus were able to practice pure love and presence with even all those who tried to murder them. And here we are feeling resentful over others not feeding our egos. I'll take a cookie please!
The answer for me seems to be, that they never separated themselves from the rest of humanity. The stronger the sense of "I', the longer it hurts. The "I" pulls in all the energy towards the self, literally leaving none to connect on the outside world thereby only creating walls between who we think we are and who we think others are. In reality, we all have come from the same Source.
We define people based on our limited perception of who we think they are. To give more control to our own worlds, we use different labels so we can make more sense of it all, you might hear someone say, oh he's a loser or she's a bitch. But are they really? No. In no way does a simple label, define a person over all. That is only what your opinion about them is. Not the whole truth. And the more interesting thing: even if they are, where have you displayed similar qualities like them? Let's make it more simple, if not qualities, when did you think of similar acts? Whether or not our egos like it, we all are the same.
Our power lies not in exercising our control over the external world but it lies in making peace with our internal selves. Once we are able to recognize our own divine natures, we open up enough power to recognize the same in others. Our strength lies in knowing who we are and allowing others to be exactly who they choose to be. Once you really understand the depth of our own core, you stop relying on others to give you the happiness. You become liberated from wanting people to do as you please. You by acknowledging your own light, allow others to do the same for themselves. And it really depends on them, what they want for themselves. All you can do is watch and pray, for yourself and others.
