How My Inconsistency Is My Blessing

Photo by ~Sea-of-Ice

I'm inconsistent. So I've been told. After my first knee jerk response, i.e. getting offended, was done, I decided to put my years and years of self-development at work. If it triggered something, its definitely of value and I wasn't gonna go around with a wounded ego, pouting and complaining. So I decided to get into an inner dialogue. The minute I explored it, I heard it say the same yes, you are inconsistent. At this point, my pout turned into a scowl and I refused to talk to myself.

I ran a script of my life and I saw there had been times where I was the Holy Madonna while at other times, the dirty mistress. I swept people away with my passion and love for them while at other times I wouldn't shrug a fly off. I blow hot one minute and the next minute I'm rolling my eyes. For all you people who have "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)", yes, I'm a classic case of being a borderline personality with a horrible prognosis. Thank you very much, please feel free to wash your hands off me now.

There is no doubt about the dichotomy of the human nature, but on a deeper level, all this made me realize something more meaningful. There has only been one thing in my life, I've been passionately consistent about in myself and others. The irony is, that very thing itself is inconsistent: human development and growth.

Time and time again, I'm surrounded by the most amazing people who bring love and support in my life. Just when I think, how does it get better than this? They somehow drift away to some corner and new people emerge, who bring me greater joy and support and remind me, all over again, how beautiful the world really is. Every time, somehow it gets better. Same way, just when I get myself comfortable in a place, thinking, "oh there's nothing better than this", life uproots my existence from there and I find myself settled gracefully elsewhere with a huge smile on my face, more fulfilled.

The truth is, life is inconsistent. Look at nature, the seasons effortlessly change from one to another. Its us humans who spend our entire lives trying to fight change which only results in suffering.

Another truth is, our external lives are only a byproduct of how we live inside of ourselves. The richer our inside world, the better our reality would be. The poor the inside life, the poorer the world outside will look. That's why Lao Tzu, the famous Chinese philosopher, said if you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place. Our lives are only responding to how we respond to ourselves. Nothing more, nothing less.

When you are in a particular space or mindset, you attract, likewise people. For example: if somewhere you feel people will let you down, you will automatically attract people who will let you down. Same goes for something positive. It's labelled as self-fulfilling prophecies. Why this phenomenon? Because our minds are constantly searching for what we are feeding it. Our thoughts and beliefs have the power to unconsciously stir us to the places we want to go and even the places we don't want to go. Unless the cycle is broken, no matter where we land, we will manage to attract the same sort of people.

When we release old patterns, its no wonder, a lot of the things we are so familiar with, suddenly fall away. The people who you called your best friends once, become strangers or simply wave you a hello in the supermarket. Its quite painful at times letting go.

We all are spiritual beings, even those who appear the least of it. Part of our journey on this planet is our evolution, which means passing through certain stages to become one with Source. The sudden change in others is simply because we have taken one more step on a the spiritual ladder, upgrading ourselves while the rest of the people around us are still grappling outdated, star plus parivaar dramas, which mind you, is completely perfect, if they are comfortable with that space. Adding another note connected to the previous is that no matter where we are in our lives, it doesn't make us any better than anyone else. Each person has been given their own set of challenges that they need to overcome to complete their cycle. Once the cycle is completed, the purpose achieved, we leave this life for an eternal one.

So how is this all connected to my inconsistency? Well because it simply means I'm changing as an individual. It simply means even if my change hasn't been the most fascinating, I'm no longer the same person I was years ago, I have grown in number of ways and that makes me content, with who I am.